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In any of those cases, we'd rather be attacked by the aforementioned wolf. Even if we live alone, our fear is that someone, anyone, would come in and discover us masturbating. Browsing his porn stash like a perverse Scrooge McDuck diving into his coins. Unless we live in a log cabin in the middle of the woods, it's always better to be safe than to run the risk of a roommate or neighbor hearing what we masturbate to. That would be an apt comparison if Lewis and Clark had been jerking off the whole time and the only thing they discovered were a bunch of breasts. Not every guy uses lotion, and some guys swear by it. There's that moment where we have to do a weird dance to get into the bathroom without getting our ejaculate on anything.

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But for everyone else, there are pros and cons depending on which task you assign your stronger hand.

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Deciding whether he's going to navigate his computer with his dominant hand or masturbate with his dominant hand. It always begins with him either not even realizing he's masturbating or realizing he has an hour to kill. Whose to say they didn't though, you know? Not every guy uses lotion, and some guys swear by it.

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